Friendships are curious things... So many different weather forecasts are going into this tiny little radar from so many different locations, I almost want to shut it all out and pretend it's not there...But it is, and if I shut it out, I would lose the good as well as the bad. The Lord has blessed me with multiple sportive friends who come along side me and encourage me to follow Him no matter what other's may think of me...but of course choosing that course means that others very well MAY not like me...I'm an S...This is depressing...I long for the time when we will all worship the Lord in heaven without any thought of enmity against each other. Sometimes I think back over what I've done in the past and wonder if certain accusations really are true? Maybe I wasn't honest with myself, and maybe I could have worded my sentences more clearly...I wish there were some type of recorder I could play back in my brain so I could analyze my heart in scrutinizing detail. I don't think I was wrong...But what if I'm mistaken? I want to know. I can't accept a concept if it's contrary to scripture, and so far, I know of only one person who has told me I was wrong. I have searched this through with every ounce of my consciousness alert for red flags or caution signs...They never came...In fact, I see green lights for a mile ahead of me.

I sought out the council of numerous Godly women in my church, my Godly aunt, and of course my Godly parents. I read books...poured through scripture and prayed like my heart was going to burst...I sincerely believe with every fiber of my being that I have done no wrong, and that I followed the instruction of my Master to the utmost of my ability. Why then is it so hard for me to accept the fact that others might be displeased with me?

This is the path I have chosen...it's not like I'm considering reconsidering...I just wish my friends on the other path would at least smile at me. I hate to just turn my back and say, "Oh, well." And pretend they never existed. I want to know they're okay, and to know that they'll be fine...What if they won't?


OH GOD OF MY LIFE! You hold my friends in Your hand and You have a plan for them even if they're not happy with it. Your will is not hindered or sidetracked, but sometimes it is unclear. Would You please make Your presence known to my friends and to they're families? I want Your best for them. I hope they do too, but of course I can't assume I know what's going on in their heads. Give them strength. Give them courage to face the unknown, even if they're alone. Give them what they need to fulfill You mission for their lives. Storm the castle, Lord! They are under attack and they need Your help. I watch from a distance, but know that my presence would only make things worse. They need You, not me. Please give me the strength to surrender them to Your care, and to turn my back and continue with courage and zeal down the path You have directed me towards.

Thank You for the friends You have given me who are amazing me at their level of love and support they have to extend. Please bless them, Lord! Help me return their kindness.