Wednesday, March 26, 2008

I'm glad I didn't go.

Man.... Ever since Kaleb and Courtney got back from the ski trip, all they talk about is that group of people. They both have broken down in tears on more than one occasion. When Kaleb cries, you know somethings wrong! He never cries!... I'm so glad I didn't go! If the idea of leaving is that hard for HIM after that trip, it would only be worse for me.... I tend to be very loyal, and if I'm attached to my friends, leaving them behind feels like being drowned. I don't want to get close to anyone I'm going to be leaving. It's already too late with some people, but I'm determined that there will be no more hurt than necissary!

I know I'm not writing in a very clear manor, but I've ust got to get this out. If it bothers you, don't read it.

I don't want to be selfish. I want to reach out to others and meet their need for a friend, but how do I protect myself from this all too familiar pain? At least this time, visits back and forth are not a fantacy. We really can come back and see everybody again. I just hope they're still here when we do....

Ugh!! I'm so glad I didn't go on that trip! I'm a mess as it is! I don't need any more help.

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